i feel


my tongue

numb and useless

sitting and creating my television world

and i am lost in the salt and pepper static, feeding my meat

to the young ones

in an attempt to connect in any sort of way

my wails echoing in the dark cathedral

feeling a chill in a place

i should feel safe in

angry with myself, angry with the world

that it should not stoop to drink water elegantly

slithering under their feet

i found today

she has truly left me

and while i am glad to be rid of her

for some reason, some little part of me

is disgusted at her for being so cruel

as if i am the only one justified to be angry

i know

i am wrong

i like to think i am right but i suppose

my red haired fox shakes his head, waiting for another day

to come running headfirst like a bull

only to have the beautiful garment snatched away

by my raven haired matador

olé, olé, they say

olé to lay today of all days

i suppose in some way

i have gained


even if it was not brought about

in the way i wanted it to

but then again

what is


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