loneliness

are you mad at me?

no

i’m mad at how i feel

how i got wrapped up in a flurry of dreams

turning to glitter when i wiggled my hands

seeing the sky tinged with pink

floating up to reach the ripples shimmering in the dusk

stars sprinkled like salt, scattered all throughout

smelling the fresh cut grass and immersing my face in it

the prickly stubs gently nicking my face

the pink satin feel of the cherry blossom nuzzling my cheek

imploring me to come home

this morning, the water coming from my face was sweat

of hard work, feel-good hormones

darting away from what i knew was right

now,

the water coming from my face are just tears

having come crawling back

to face reality

knowing there are things

i can never do for you

things i can never quite reach

i suppose i’ve accepted it

i know my shell will become too small for you

and you will leave soon to find a bigger one.

it’s not because my shell isn’t pretty enough,

or that it’s cracked or anything,

you just want to see how

the bigger shell feels

leaving me alone

as everyone does

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