why can’t you just get out?

why can’t you just get out? i screamed on that stage

feeling my hands rub together with the friction of my audience

my audience that had been waiting for me for fifteen years to speak up

to describe to them

just how deadly

my silence can be

feeling oddly calm from my stomach to my feet

rolling my hearing aids around in my hand

rolling my tongue around in my mouth to avoid a deaf accent

it felt so liberating

because just this once i ceased the chatter

shoving cotton down their throats

so that even if they tried to speak, their mouths were sewn shut

you could hear a pin drop

could hear their hearts stop

breathlessly drinking my victories and my failures

watching me become a single person

stretching my voice out all the way to the back

to envelop them in a sense of discomfort

i’ve never felt so light

and so burdened

at the same time


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